I used to think I had the knowledge and skills to be able to fix people. In fact, my primary drive to accumulate knowledge and skills was for that express purpose – to help people by fixing them.
As I have progressed on my path as a health coach, I have come to realize a hard learned truth; I can’t fix anyone.
My journey into the realms of human health has had me train in many disciplines from orthopedics, nutrition, psychology, functional medicine and spirituality. I accumulated a huge toolkit of methods to be able to determine all the ways that someone fell short of ‘optimal’ health.
If I were to run my full gamut of tests on a new client it would take me around 8 hours to complete it all. That’s 8 hours of measuring all the ways that they fall short of what is ‘normal’.
What a killjoy it would have been to work with me! As a result I noticed that I was attracting clients who thrived off this hypercritical approach to health. People that were perfectionists, who were constantly striving to reach an impossible ideal that I offered to them. I was reinforcing the idea of their brokenness.
You are not broken!
Now, let me be clear; correcting your posture, getting your core to function well and cleaning up your diet will no doubt improve your state of health. This post is not to say that health, function and form can’t be changed to ease pain and suffering. It is to say that if you approach this pursuit from the perspective of ‘not being enough’, then you’re going to have a troubling time!
My evolving perspective is that each and every client that I meet is already perfect. Nothing about you is less than perfect, right down to the warts on your toes and the grey hairs in your ladybeard. Perfection to me is the recognition of everything that exists having full permission to be here, in its exact form, as a divine expression.
Said another way, everything is sacred – even your suffering.
It has been my experience that when we step out of the avoidance and victim mentality of believing that suffering doesn’t deserve to be here, we enter into a realm of curiosity and innocence that allows us to ask the question; why is this suffering here, and what can I learn from it?
Suffering has purpose.
Bringing this childlike quality to our interactions with the world, we create a playground of possibility in each and every experience. Rather than things being labeled ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, we can start to view experiences in the light of the richness of the lessons inherent in them. We will begin to value the quality and diversity of life’s offerings.
Change is happening. Are you present for it?
Part of the acceptance of ‘what is’, is the understanding that ‘what is’, will change into a new ‘what is’. Each ‘what is’ has its own unique opportunity to experience life in a very specific way and for us to learn and grow as a result of the experiencing of these perfect moments.
I invite you to drop the idea that anything in your life ‘shouldn’t’ be here. Turn toward your pain. Step into the reclamation of your perfection your right to be here, now, as you are. AND, I invite you to consciously go about creating the life you desire! Utilize the fertilizer of your past and current suffering as the necessary growth accelerant to encourage you on your way.
Grow! Learn! And make it playful… ‘Cause this is far too serious for us to take it seriously ;)